Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Wednesday Morning 3 A.M.
I suppose it tells you something that I was awake at that hour, trying to remember the tracks on the Simon and Garfunkle album of the same name. What is it about the middle of the night? I'm haunted by demons born of my anxiety. I imagine everything that can possibly go wrong, and believe me, I have quite an imagination.Three or four hours later things don't seem so bleak, though our circumstances haven't changed at all. That's the way of it.
Some weeks back I tried to explain to Sally that though I was anxious about the possibility of moving to Portland, all of my anxieties were related to the weeks and months of transition, rather than the ultimate wisdom of her seeking the new position. There are simply so many variables, so many of which are beyond our control. For example, why can't we get top dollar for our house in Spokane, AND a bargain price for a lovely new home in Portland. Is that asking too much?
It's growing light out. I'm feeling optimistic. We can do this!
But I remain haunted by the reminder and certain return of Wednesday morning 3 A.M.