I blame myself. The Midwest Flood of 1993 was a direct result of my decisions and actions. It's a burden of guilt I have borne for too long now. The critical action was purchasing a three-room cabin tent from Cabellas and erecting it in our back yard in Lincoln, Nebraska. Within hours we spawned a tornado.
We bought that tent after being flooded out of campsites throughout the arid West in the summer of 1991. Wanting the kids to experience the joy of camping, our new strategy was to purchase a giant tent to use as a base camp. How giant? Giant enough to house a family of five, a dog, and numerous Leggo sets during the occasional rain experienced by campers. We bought a giant tent, and brought on a giant rain event. The Great Plains suffered as a result.
We're at it again. Only just now dried out from our last camping attempt, Sally and I have spent $1,200 to embrace the Simple Life that backwoods camping affords. I can't remember the exact amount we paid for that Cabellas tent, but it wasn't $1,200. Given the ratio of dollars we spent to the financial losses sustained in 1993, I'd guess that the meteorological reaction to our latest camping investment might even convince the most stubborn Republicans as to the reality of human-caused climate change. Coast lines will change. Micronesia is at risk.
Batten down the hatches and brush up on the definition of cubits. We're going camping.